I first saw this on a t-shirt whilst in a foreign country many years ago.  I’m untterly convinced that I bought the t-shirt, but can’t for the life of me think where it went.  It’ll probably turn up in a cupboard.  This is the sort of thing I’d like to put on my “personally professional” site but since I’m giving the horrors at school the web address I really don’t think it will be a good idea.  I’m sure that many of them with Net access won’t even bother to look at all the hard work I’ve put in over the summer hols, but always better to be on the safe side, eh? 

A brief comparison of world religions

Taoism: Shit happens.

Confucianism: Confucius say, “Shit happens.”

Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn’t really shit.

Zen Buddhism: What is the sound of shit happening?

Hinduism: This shit happened before.

Mormonism: This shit is going to happen again.

Islam: If shit happens, it is the Will of Allah.

Stoicism: This shit is its own reward.

Protestantism: Let this shit happen to someone else.

Calvinism: Shit happens because you don’t work hard enough.

Pentecostalism: In Jesus’ name, heal this shit!

Catholicism: Shit happens because you deserve it.

Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?

Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half the time.

Marxism: This shit is going to hit the fan.

Atheism: No shit.

Seventh Day Adventist: No shit on Saturdays.

Existentialism: Absurd shit.

Agnosticism: What is this shit?

Nihilism: Who gives a shit?

Deconstruction: Shit happens in hegemonic meta-narratives.

Christian Science: Shit is in your mind.

Moonies: Only happy shit really happens.

Jehovah’s Witnesses: Let us in your house and we will explain why shit happens!

Scientology: Shit happens on page 152 of Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard

Hare Krishna: Shit happens, Rama Rama.

Hedonism: There’s nothing like a good shit happening.

Rastafarianism: Let’s smoke this shit.

God Bless Rastafarianism xxx Elsabeth


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