Tottering merrily into shops armed with a debit card, and with time to spare, after a liquid pub lunch with the girls probably isn’t a good idea. A few vodka’s yesterday lunchtime and everything seemed pretty. I arrived home laden down with bags containing three summery tops, two bags, some retro earrings, a new polka dot purse, and some hair accessories. But I don’t regret a thing. And I did refrain from buying the shoes that I liked. They’ll be a purchase for next month. As will the pink trouser suit which is very pretty and will look lovely for the wedding reception we’re off to next month. For the last few years I’ve been very pink. I imagine that it’s because I spent so many years being a goth. Now I just want to be girly. I must be getting old.
Apologies, but I can’t resist attempting the following. It is a very teenagerish [I don’t think that’s a word but really, I don’t give a damn] thing to do and fits in with my current girly nature. Besides, as Susie said, ” … this is my blog and I’ll do what I want …”
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
against a rock; lean, stand, against the wall; UP against). [f.
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Now You’re Talking. A show on every morning on BBC1. Today’s topic was I want to find my family. It’s better than Rikki and Trisha, and almost as intellectual as Oprah.
4. WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is.
I imagine that it must be about one in the afternoon.
5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
Blimey, I’m good. It’s three minutes past.
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Nothing. Silence surrounds me.
7. When did you last step outside? what were you doing?
I had a cigarette whilst chatting to the rabbit about half an hour ago. It’s a little chilly.
8. Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
I went to Neopets to get my daily fix of Word Poker.
9. What are you wearing?
Ah. The sort of question that desperate people ask in chat rooms. Bugger off. And no, I’m not just wearing my underwear. And I will not tell you what colour it is.
10. Did you dream last night?
I always dream.
11. When did you last laugh?
This morning. At the telly, I suspect.
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Some family photos, a picture of my [now deceased but still much loved] cat when he was a kitten, four Clarice Cliff replica plates, some foreign prints. It’s the dining room.
13. Seen anything weird lately?
And the definition of weird is … ? I saw on the news yesterday that a new tourist guide that has been published tells visitors to England that we all have tea and cucmber sandwiches in the middle of the afternoon. We do?
14. Last movie you saw?
At the cinema it would have been Shaun of the Dead. On the telly it was Charlie & the Chocolate Factory. On DVD it was just some soppy BritFlick.
15. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
A bottle of champagne.
16. Tell me something about you that I don’t know.
I always drink my tea and coffee with a teaspoon in it. I stir with the spoon and then leave it in the cup. Even in public. Even in china tea-cups. It’s a security issue. No, I don’t understand it either. Everybody laughs at me. Even people who don’t know me. Or they frown at me if they’re old.
17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Probably nothing because I wouldn’t be able to decide which issue needed changing the most. And then I’d choose one thing and decide that I should have changed ten other things before that one thing and then I’d feel guilty and then I’d be unhappier than I would be if I’d done nothing and this sentence really could do with some form of punctuation …
18. Do you like to dance?
No. Go away.
19. George Bush: is he a power-crazy nutcase or someone who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years?
Um … he scares me. Does that answer the question?
20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Annie Elizabeth Mabel. Or Daisy Elizabeth Mabel. Or Mabel Daisy Elizabeth. Or any other variation on the same theme. Or Agatha. And Gertrude is nice too.
21. [Same question for a boy].
Isaac. Oliver. Tobias. One of them.
22. Would you ever consider living abroad?
No. I’d get horridly homesick. I’d worry about The Mother all the time. I’d miss my family and friends. Foreign money would confuse me. And in England I can get the contraceptive pill for free.
It must be luncheon-time. Ach, I need to write some more Year 10 reports. Fun. In the sun.
God Bless The Big Brother Abroad Who Is Sad xxx Elsabeth