True Story # 1 –

Late one frosty[ish] Monday afternoon a slightly intoxicated Katiefinger waved goodbye to The Gip Girls following a long liquid lunch in a seedy pub and off she toddled to the bus station.  As she drew near she decided that it would be lovely if she popped into the Bag Shop to see her Old-Young Friend [and ex-Assistant Manager when she worked in the retail trade]. 

And yes, she had an ulterior motive.  Wouldn’t it be lovely to buy a new bag as a Christmas gift to herself to add to the collection of bags gathering dust under the bed/in the cupboard?

As she approached the Bag Shop she spied many bright lights.  Odd.  It’d never been that bright before.

Not only were there bright lights but there were shoppers sitting enjoying a chat and a drink.  They were laughing.  Laughing in a Bag Shop?

No bags.

Lots of coffee though.

Pah … Starbuck’s have stolen Katiefinger’s Old-Young Friend [and ex-Assistant Manager when she worked in the retail trade].

And Katiefinger may never ever see her again.

True Story # 2 –

Katiefinger has a friend.  She hasn’t had this friend for long [about two years].  Her name shall be Doll.  Doll has been with her man for about sixteen years.  They have three beautiful and intelligent children.  They go and see Bruce Springsteen together … Katiefinger doesn’t know why.  Maybe they like him.  She makes Katiefinger giggle.  She’s a breath of fresh air.  She’s fab. [please note that Katiefinger only says this in case Doll chooses to read this entry  … must suck up to her!]  … And now she’s tying the knot.  Hurrah!  She deserves it. 

Thankfully she’s only got about seven or eight weeks to plan the wedding.  No time to get stressed.  Plenty of time to organise a stripper for her Hen Night though …

True Story # 3 –

People who experience alien abduction are simply suffering from microsleep.  Katiefinger knows this because her Fortean Times told her it was true.  Plus, she’s gullible enough to believe anything.

Life is grand[ish].

please God bless the cheery bus driver and make her Xmas Xtra special xxx Elsabeth


  1. fortean times, awesome. my x-files book of the unexplained talks about that.
    yeah, when things like that happen to me, i always think, i thought i’d have another chance… but i guess not. and it’s sad.

  2. ryc: Well, at least the weird people kept the party from being too dull. religion huh? I went to an undergrad school that required religion classes. I used it to learn as much as I could about other cultures. One of the most interesting classes I took was an african-latin religion course.

  3. 1996 was the year it broke out really big.  I know this because I used to work at a blood bank.
    Aww, sad about the lost friend AND Starbucks taking over the world.  Blasted caffeine.  It’s a drug, I tell you.

  4. Starbucks?!  Nooooo!  They’re making the handbag a dying breed!  Soon they will be taking over every corner…they will merge every shop out of business and replace them with boring old men with laptop computers who sit and sip overpriced Lattés and chat loudly on cell phones to prove that they are hip by coffee-house dwelling.  Horrors.
    Great to hear that your friend is getting married…and hope that the new marriage does not interfere with Bruce-Springsteen concert ventures involving staring at his jean-clad, middle-aged butt and remarking that it still actually looks good and that he’s aged well since the days of the hankerchief in the back pocket.
    Isn’t it odd that some of the people who claim alien abduction are some of those we WISH the aliens WOULD abduct and not return (ex:  Anne Heche)?

  5. RYC: You’re not dumb! You is lovely!
    True stories very interesting.
    Grr@ these people who get engaged then get married mere weeks/months later. I’VE BEEN ENGAGED FOR FOUR YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. Hurrah for friends getting married, hurrah for giddy afternoons and intoxication, and boo to commercialised American chains taking over perfectly decent bag shops… grrrrrrrrr

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