Just because I want to stay one more night doesn’t mean I don’t miss you as much as I do” – fifteen[ish] year old girl on the bus in maC yesterday.


It was rather sweet.  She was shouting at someone, presumably her boyfirend, then he would hang up, then three minutes later he would call her again, only for them to go through the whole fandangly rigmarole again.


The curse of the mobile phone.  But it made me realise how content I am.  I have no qualms about leaving The Blokey for a couple of nights.  I wouldn’t go so far as to say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but the look of delight on his face when he came home from work yesterday and spied me at the computer [yeh, always on the computer] made going away for two nights thoroughly worthwhile. 


I need my space.  In many ways I am a very private person [says she, despite the fact that she’s saying it on a page that anyone in the whole wide world can access] and I do need my privacy, time to be alone, to reflect on the past, present and future, to work through my worries and fears, to read, to daydream, to sing [heaven forbid anyone should have to hear that].  I enjoy my own company and will, occasionally, crave it.  But I also crave the company of others at times.  As do we all.


I like sitting on the loo because I can ponder whilst doing my business.  I have been known to spend hours on the loo.  I lose track of time – *laughs* 


I know that The Blokey loves me because he lets me have time alone.  Simple. 


I couldn’t live in his pocket.  I’ve done the whole stifling relationship, and the manically possessive one too.  I need neither of those now.  I have trust and he has trust, and if I want to go away to spend time alone, or with friends, or family without him then he’s happy to let me. 


And let’s be honest – he’s probably more than grateful for any break he gets from me.  He knows he can do it too. And we value each other more because of it. 


I never want to be like that fifteen year old and her obviously possessive young man ever again.  However sweet it can be to outsiders …


It was just a thought that struck me.


Tonight we’re off to The Future Parents-in-law’s for dinner and swappage of Christmas gifts.  Yay, I don’t have to cook!  Must beautify myself …


please God bless the presents – *rubs hands in anticipated glee* – xxx Elsabeth

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6 comments

  1. Now I look back I realise my relationship is mature *because* we can spend time apart and not feel…left out I suppose. Yay for private time, and also for loo time.  I like loo time too.  I tend to take my book, space out and generally relax for a minute. Heaven.

  2. I completely understand about alone time.  I always understood but I actually took a leadership course which dealt with this very thing (among other topics of course).
    For me, I get my energy from within, not from others.  When I need to recharge, everyone else has to get the heck away from me.  I LOVE being alone.  If I could be alone at least half of the time I’d be ok.  But then I also crave relationships as well.  With friends in particular, it’s like I want this…mind-melding connection.  I want us to know each other so well we’re practically inside of each other.  I crave that closeness.  I’ve never really gotten it with anyone so I’m hoping that will come in the form of a significant other.  I want to be able to be *right there* even when we’re not.  And of course, there will be plenty of away time, because, as I said before, I like to be alone.

  3. Ah yes, I’m the same.  Last night, we had to sleep in separate rooms again because we’re both so sick we didn’t want to wake each other up … I found myself up until 1am, going through photos and filling albums.  Just to have that time alone to do that was fantastic.  I don’t really get much time by myself in the house so I completely milk it when I do.
    Merry Christmas hon and thanks for all the wonderful comments over the month, they’ve really helped me in my first term x

  4. oh, do i remember those days of being blatantly obsessive about boys (in front of people) ;)  thanks for the x-mas wish!  i hope you had a merry one too.  new year’s eve is going to be the shit though.  surrounded by drunk scottish boys in kilts… do you think they’ll let me take photos?  :D  have a good one, lady!
    xo, al
    ps.  my sister and i just found out about the london eye.  we’re so there!

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