This week I became the proud mother of a Bouncing Baby Burberry Cushion, stubbornly made for me by Little Miss Impatient Chav during an afternoon craft session where I learnt to use the sewing machine …
Today is the thirty-sixth [blimey] birthday of The Eldest Brother and guess which sibling forgot to send him a birthday card with frolicky greetings?
This week I have suffered from various sicknesses, including migraines, an upset belly, nausea, aches/pains and, more disturbingly, a general feeling of lethargy … I think that tomorrow I should get up, phone in sick and then snuggle under the duvet again, no?
Today I laughed in amusement at the sight of so many teachers/staff and so few parents at the Year 10 Parents Evening. I shouldn’t really have been amused – I should have known that the kids we have at school are the sort whose parents really don’t give a toss about education …
At the weekend I spied a Topsy & Tim book in the shop. Oooh, the excitement. Then I thumbed through one and discovered that Topsy & Tim are rather Politically Correct these days. I was very very disappointed. Humph.
Because my brain isn’t working particularly well and I feel unable to formulate a coherent post I shall instead amuse myself, twiddle my thumbs and relax with some Weird Ones …
1. Why aren’t fish used to decorate Christmas trees?
Because the damn things would be smelly by the time it got round to Christmas Day. D’uh! And the cats would climb the tree to catch them and then there would be pine needles and fur and bones and scales dotted around the living room. It’s not really worth the hassle.
2. What is the best answering machine message that you never heard?
“Hello. I’m *****’s answering machine. What are you?”
3. Should dolls come with instructions? Why or why not?
For little girls/boys [see, me not sexist] with fertile imaginations/intelligence? No. Who needs instructions when you have a creative side and a high IQ? For little boys/girls [see, me not sexist] with no fertile imagination/intelligence? Gosh … um … no. Isn’t it more fun to watch people stumble on their way to discovering what the Doll does?
4. How can you be sure you truly exist and aren’t just a figment in someone else’s dream? How can you be sure I truly exist?
I can’t. I think I wrote about this once before. I would quite like to be a figment in somebody else’s dream. Although perhaps someone ought to wake them up because their dream can’t be all that exciting. In fact, it’s all a bit monotonous … work, tellybox, computer, blokey, sleep, work, tellybox, computer, sleep, blokey … … … And I can be sure that you truly exist because I don’t think up ridiculously silly questions like this … *simper*
5. When in the course of human events? For how long? Why?
Probably sometime last year? For maybe about ten minutes? Because otherwise Pansy wouldn’t have been able to practice with her brand new opposable thumbs?
Ah, my bed is calling my light-headed head to lie down …
please God bless the eldest brother and make the rest of his birthday rather spiffingly wonderful xxx Elsabeth