There is definitely something sexy about going swimming with your partner – being in such close proximity in such near nakedness with strangers around.  It’s a mystical sexiness, yet is feels so ordinary.  And there’s nothing actually sexual about it.  It’s just sexy.  Scantily-clad fun with no immediate sexual presumptions …


… Bah!  Humbug!  the negativity surrounding the passionate wonderousness of swimming stuns me.  The gentle gliding of the human form through water, the hand on the thigh, the subtle flirtatiousness of the smile, the beads of water that frame the face, the wispiness of the damp hair … and yet nobody sees it but me.  Ignore the verruca’s, ignore the children’s pee [easier to do if you go when it’s only adults, which we do], ignore the laughter of the lifeguards as they watch in amazement at the way you lose your balance in the water … I must be unique.  Or quirky.  Or simply mad.  Oh well.  I shall love the sexiness of it in the privacy of my own odd mind … apologies …


Last week one nameless Building Society told us we could only have a mortgage of <insert minimalistic minimum amount here> which totally threw me because it meant that I really had to stop looking in the quaintly historic market town in which we currently rent and look further afield. 

Today another nameless Building Society informed us that we could have a mortgage for <insert maximalistic maximum amount here> which, again, totally threw me because I know that if we have a mortgage for that amount we would struggle to eat and pay bills. 

So, we’re opting for a mortgage of about <insert sensible amount here> which we know will get us a three bedroom semi in another [not so quaintly historic] market town about ten miles away.  The town we’ve chosen to do our searches in is full of inbred [if you knew where precisely in the Eastern Angles area of England it is you would understand] families – chav families with souped up cars, tacky jewellery and no jobs.  However, currently lots of new estates are popping up, nice estates that are aimed at young professional couples and families.  This suggests to us [and we could be wrong] that the area will gradually become nicer than pockets of it already are.And gradually us nice folk can squeeze the inbred chav’s out … *grin*. 

So, that’s my weekend in a nutshell.  We viewed a house.  It was nice.  We view another on Monday evening.  It will be nice.  Will I know instantly when I find the house I like?  And how will I know?  Will it jump up and bite me on the bottom?  And what if we disagree about which house we like and see ourselves living in?  Do we compromise?  Start again?  Scream at each other?  Do I act like the submissive woman I know I am?  Can I, at the very least, choose the colour of the bedroom?  If we get a kitten do we need a scratching stick thingy?  Who do I phone when there are no letting agents and I need someone to look at the plumbing?  And who will get up to change the nappies in the middle of the night when we finally have babies? 

This is going to be stressful, no? 

I used to listen to The Cranberries a lot many moons ago when I was still a sprightly teenager.  Thank you Susannah for reminding me how good they are …

Surely if my belly hurts it must be nearly tea-time?

please God bless the house that I will eventually buy xxx Elsabeth


  1. you know, when we were shopping for an apartment, i just walked into one and KNEW that was the one.  well, it wasn’t but the one we’re in NOW is the one.  until the next one.  well, apartments are a bit different than houses.  or do you call them “flats”? we spent time in Northern Ireland, but I know that doesn’t give me a clue about England.  of course, I DO know that I like american food better. no offense.  it’s just that y’all’s food is freaking INSANE. the native food, you know? like blood pie.  sort of like a dare.
    “i bet you won’t eat that” “oh yeah? well watch this” all with the funky english accent.

  2. Lobster, yuck! I’m with you on the swimming thing. Something about being slippery and half naked.You will know when it’s *your* house and don’t settle for anything less

  3. I prefer natural hot pools under a starlit sky. The whole bathing in kid’s urine doesn’t do it for me.
    Anyway, as soon as I’m in a house, I notice all its imperfections, and then it drives me crazy. I’m not the least bit practically inclined, either, I’m just a fusspot.

  4. oh.
    i’m glad you think so. about pools, i mean. that means at least one person could theoretically get that scene i wrote.
    haha i couldn’t help it, when you described the tacky jewelry and souped up cars i thought, she’s talking about the american south. and then i smacked myself for thinking that, but i still laughed.

  5. Maybe finding the right house is like realising you’re in love…you just *know*.  I will not be able to buy a house for a long time yet, so I’m afraid I have no idea.  It would be convenient if it was like that, though.

  6. Oh so funny…there really is something sexy about swimming with your partner. Nearly weightless and being able to touch skin in public is enticing.I think you will know when you find the right house. And somehow, all of the repairs you have to make become fun to do yourself…

  7. It will just happen.  I think, though, it’s easier to find the house that feels ‘wrong’ immediately, than the one that feels ‘right’ immediately.  I’m still ‘not sure’ about my flat, but the rest of the world seems to love it.  I miss having stairs to go down to get to breakfast.  And a second loo is, I’ve decided, a necessity.

  8. Oh, bless your little cotton socks.  And even the ones that aren’t cotton.
    *hugs you*
    The cartoon is much appreciated but I shall have to wait til I go home to a computer with sound to view/listen to it.
    Yes, I forgot my love of the Cranberries for a while as well.  Don’t know what I was thinking.
    As for house-hunting…stand firm.  You know what you want, you just have to convince him it’s what he wants too.
    Oh, and LOVE the new site look. hehehe  Especially the doggie in the top right corner.  He/she is too adorable for words.

  9. I can understand the struggles of house finding!
    It took us a YEAR of searching to find our house.  Yes, you will know instantly!  We didnt get the house we wanted!  We were out bid by another couple!!!  This house is great!  and in the long run we are probably better off…but sometimes I still think about that one that slipped away.

  10. I too like the sexyness of swimming. I love the water. Love it. Which is ironic since I can’t swim very well. Call me dog paddle girl. That is me. Yes lots of worries. It will be okay. Who will change the nappies? You will take turns. And any time he complains you will remind him of who had to go through the hell that is child birth and pregnancy. That’s what I say.

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