I’ve met my first Australian. 

No, I lie.

I actually met my first Australian on the thirteenth September 2001.  I know this because it was me, him and some American chap surrounded by Czech people on a Czech coach travelling back to London from Prague.  We shared a day-old copy of the Financial Times, which told us very little about what we wanted to know [9/11], and chatted about nothing significant.  When we got to customs in the English bit of the French bit the Czech’s all looked warily at the Sikh men standing near-by.  It made me laugh and want to flick cigarette ash over them. 

But that’s another post, one that discusses the merits of being intelligently introverted and shy, yet stupidly brave and ignorant.

So, I’ve met my second Australian. 

The Bald Guy [a new chap on the bus, only twenty-two but already going bald – I know this because a) I’m not blind, and b) I eavesdrop on conversations (edit: the Bald Guy is not the Australian, the Australian is someone at work)] didn’t realise that the Three Witches [and their cohorts] sit at the back and screech so loudly that I have to play my Therapy? at maximum volume on my [pink mini] iPod and can still hear everything they shout when I’m right at the front of the bus.  He was hemmed into a corner and made a hurried exit when he discovered the error of his way, to which the Pain In The Arse Witch cackled, Oh, it it something we said?. 

One day I’d like to turn around and tell her that yes, it was something she said.  And something she did.  And the fact that she wears those shite sunglasses and practically sits on people’s laps.  And then I’d turn to the youngest of the Three Witches and ask him why he’s running after freakin’ girls when it’s so freakin’ obvious that he’s freakin’ gay.  And would he please refrain from telling the same story day after day after day after day [*yawns and struggles not to fall asleep*] …

Still, that was yesterday.  Today it was just Pain In The Arse Witch and she had nobody to talk to.

Ha.

Ha.

I am so pleased that GayChav [who isn’t gay, and isn’t really a chav either] is back on the bus because now we can claim the backseat as ours [I realise that sounds naughty, but it isn’t – I’ve never even spoken to him.  Besides, he’s too young.  And oh, yeh, I have a blokey], and tsk and tut and roll our eyes when we get pushed into tight corners and find it difficult to breathe …

People who are panic-buying petrol are making me chuckle.  Today the Tesco garage had a sign saying, Out of fuel at its entrance.  The next garage had only half its pumps working and the final garage on my wondrous journey home had a strange woman in a posh convertible filling up three [yes, three] little petrol cans.  Me assumes that there is some sort of petrol thingy going on that I don’t know about because I don’t drive.

*laughs at silly people*

Did you ever dream of living another life? 

please God bless the petrol, that it may find happiness xxx Elsabeth

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15 comments

  1. Buses don’t run on air.(Apart from those gassy ones).So how come it took a bout of eavesdropping to realise the 22 yr old guy was bald, if it took your eyes to realise he was Australian?Lewis.

  2. Yes, I want to live another life.  Just for a while, anyway.  To see what happens.
    I think I miss quite a bit of life by not being able to ride public transportation.  You always have fun stories.

  3. *hugssssss* Silly!  I haven’t not visited because you disagreed with me…In fact, I really love your opinions!  You’re one of my favorite Xangans…I just get busy with the little one and never get to comment anymore.  When I do get on the computer, I usually am on just to post whatever I’m thinking about and then to jump right back off because some little one either needs diapered, fed, or entertained.
    I read your comment and had to come right here straight-away and tell you that I’m not at all aggravated with you!  I think you’re fantastic and just wanted to stop by and let you know!

  4. wish all guys were really like this…:)Listen to it, alot of it is true!this chain letter is realso followthe instructionsand somethinggood will happen!!LISTEN TO THIS LETTER AND GOOD LUCK!!!!!Sorry,but this chain letter is for real.When Anne Wichert got it for the first time,she ignored it and a week later the love of herlife dumped her for no good reason soBEWARE,and just send the stupid letter!!!!!!The Lovers of the HeartIn order to forma more perfect kiss,enable the mighty hug to promoteto whom we pleasebut one kiss.Article 1:Statement of Love:The Kiss1. Kiss on the hand I adore you2. Kiss on the cheek I just want to be friends3. Kiss on the neck I want you4. Kiss on the lips I love you5. Kiss on the ears I am just playing6. Kiss anywhere else lets not get carried away7. Look in your eyes kiss me8.Playing with your hair I can’t live without you9. Hand on your waist I love you to much to let you goArticle 2:The Three Steps1. Girls: If any guys gets fresh with you, slap him.2. Guys: If any girl slaps you, kiss her3. Guys & Girls: Close your eyes when kissing, it is rude to stare.Article 3:The Commandments1. Thou shall not squeeze too hard.2. Thou shall not ask for a kiss, but take one.3. Thou shall kiss at every opportunity.* Remember *A peach is a peachA plum is a plum,A kiss isn’t a kissWithout some tongue.So open up your mouthclose your eyes,and give your tonguesome exercise!!!Here are a few reasonswhy guys like girls:1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder3. How cute they look when they sleep4. The ease in which they fit into our arms5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in theworld6. How cute they are when they eat7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes itallworth while8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside9. The way they look good no matter what they wear10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know thatyouthink she’s the most beautiful thing on this earth11. How cute they are when they argue12. The way her hand always finds yours13. The way they smile14. The way you feel when you see their name on the caller ID after youjusthad a big fight15. The way she says “lets not fight anymore” even though you know thatanhour later….16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them17. The way they kiss you when you say “I love you”18. Actually … just the way they kiss you…19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt. (even though wedon’tadmit it)!23. The way they say “I miss you”24. The way you miss them25.The way their tears make you want to change the world so that itdoesn’thurt her anymore….. Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wishtheywould die or know that you would die without them … it matters not.Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they becomeeverything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to thedepthsof their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound,youknow that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmicbeatingsof her very heart.We love them for a million reasons, No paper would doitjustice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart. A feeling.Onlyfelt.This chain started in 1997.It is a love chain letter.In an hour you aresupposed to send it to25 people.It is easy, just look intochat rooms and find them.Anyway,send it to 25 people in 1 hour.Now herecomes the fun part.You then saythe name of the personyou like or loveand then the person will say”I love you,”or”Will you go out with me?”NO JOKE!!!!!NOWTHE CONSEQUENCESThe consequences are:If you break the chain letter,you will have bad luckin future relationships.If you don’tbreak the chain,then you will be ahappy camper!!!CoNgRatULaTioNs!!You have been chosento participatein theLONGESTand theLUCKIESTchain letter on the Internet!Once you read,this letter you mustIMMEDIATELY(meaning within the hour)be sent to25peopleAfter you send it,make a wishand it will comeTRUEYOU MAY NOT WAITFOR A CERTAIN TIMETO SEND IT…….. REMEMBER,IT MUST BE SENTTO25PEOPLE WITHIN 1 HOUR,ORYOUR WISH WILL NOT COMETRUE!If THISCHAIN LETTERIS CONTINUED UNTILTHE YEAR 2006, IT WILL BE PLACED INTHE GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS!PLEASE CONTINUE IT NOW!!!*WARNING*IF YOU DO NOT PASS THIS ON,SOMETHING BAD OR WORSEWILL HAPPEN TO YOU:*NOTE*THE MORE PEOPLEYOU SEND THIS TOTHE MORE LUCK YOU WILLHAVE IN YOUR LOVE LIFE.IF YOU BREAKTHE CHAIN LETTER(IT HAS BEEN GOING SINCE 1997)YOU WILL HAVEBAD LUCKWITH YOUR LOVE LIFEFOR SEVEN YEARS.THIS ISNOJOKE.GOOD LUCK!!!! 

  5. I didn’t used to drive, either. Now that I know about this petrol thingy, I feel so peeved I didn’t waste all my money on buying loads of it before it became too expensive.

  6. RYN: Do tell!  Is it the usual problem with a beauty contest type of thing?  Or is there another reason to hate it?!?
    I’m just voting for CafeChick80 because I don’t know any of the others and besides, Dan asked us to and he’s such a nice guy!

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