I happily woke up at an early hour this morning, dreaming of a relaxing day that would begin once the housework had been done and the Tesco shopping delivered.  We enjoyed a simple lunch and then set forth to the big garden centre to indulge some money on buying plants for our pond. 

It makes me feel very grown-up to be able to tell you that I spend my days at garden centres.

So, I had to root around in my bag for my mobile phone before we embarked on what was to be a simple journey.  Once we were in the car and had turned a few bends I thought it would be ignorant of me to pass up the opportunity to actually look at my phone. 

God blimey!

There was a voicemail message waiting for me. 

Hello, this is a message for Miss Finger from That Girl in the Furnitureland shop.  Unfortunately, after telling you three times that you would be receiving your table and chairs at some point, I have to admit that the suppliers are plonkers and won’t give us what we ordered for you.  I’m very sorry that we lied to you when we guaranteed that there wouldn’t be a problem.  We are frickin’ fools and deserve a good spanking for even thinking about going into administration.  Please ring me on [insert number here – but don’t misdial this time because you don’t want to get that sex place again, or do you?]so we can discuss the situation. 

We turned around and came home again and Little Miss Phone Phobia spent half an hour on the phone to Furnitureland [what happens to my £808 now?] and my card provider, which in this case happen to be Halifax [i’m an idiot and i paid for my goods in full with my debit card and not my credit card, so what happens now, can i get my money back?] and then decided to actually go to Furnitureland on the way to the big garden centre anyway. 

They’re having a closing down sale.  Everything must go!  They had our table and chairs on display.  So we’re getting ex-display stock.  At least we are getting what we ordered, because the hassle of having to choose something else or chase up our money with little or no chance of getting it back is too much for me to cope with. 

Oh, and a secret for you – they claim that everything must go and therefore they’ve reduced everything by at least 30%, maybe even up to 70%, but they lie.  Everything that we saw was priced at the exact same amount it was when we ordered our furniture back in August. 

You won’t actually be getting a bargain.

I buy my lottery tickets online but the damn site hasn’t been working.  Grrr.

I should have known that the weekend wouldn’t be too good yesterday when The Boy Who Is Under The Thumb laughed and said, Oh my God Elizabeth, you have some grey hairs, did you know you’re going grey?  You must be so pissed off, and then ran from the classroom shouting it to all and sundry.

Time to get the hair dye out then …

[This post comes to you from the Little Book of Life Instructions, numbers 323, 324 and 325: Never pay for an item in full with your debit card until you know it is available to be delivered.  Always pay a deposit and then the balance when it is available.  Always pay the deposit with your credit card, idiot]

please God bless us silly people xxx Elsabeth


  1. Which is why I use cash, and if I can’t take it away there and then, I’ll go somewhere else. I know someone who was similarly shafted by World Of Leather / Land Of Leather / Retail Park Of Leather / Goldfish Bowl Of Leather / Whatever They’ll Be Called Next Week.

  2. I’ve learnt from people in the past, and your exploits have reassured me… I put all of my purchases on my credit card…Are you getting any discount for taking soiled goods?Being a soon-to-be-flat-owner, I can safely say that I’ll never go into a Garden Centre

  3. all that trouble and you’re still getting the same furniture WITHOUT a discount? hmmphhh!  I want a pond!  Not just yet…wont stay in this house for too long.

  4. Ack, no! So didja buy em, or not? Will you get your money back? Could Tony’s comment be funnier? What happens next in the saga of the Katiefinger’s and their dining table?!?!?(Am giddy. Apologise profusely*

  5. Aww. *hug*
    I hate shopping for furniture- especially with my mom, who makes me come with her even though we never agree on anything. I’m very likely to become a garage sale junky and buy all of my furniture for five dollars or less when I’m older.

  6. I’ll be honest, the point of that comment was to spark debate. It wasn’t an accurate representation of my personal beliefs.There are many differences between muslim communities and christian communities, obviously. I know that a lot of the practices of islam would be considered taboo in the western world. So, the problem is that we don’t have a working definition of molestation for comparison. I’m also certain that molestation goes unreported more frequently in islamic countries, so the demographic data would not be accurate. It was just a point for debate.

  7. I can’t believe you’re still dealing with that furniture drama! You poor thing! Bah. Show room piece. =0( Well at least we’re learning to be grown ups. Learn to use credit cards and ensure they’re insured. Do not debit.

  8. Tesco’s delivers???  I want our grocery stores to deliver.
    Glad you’re getting your furniture even though it’s been sullied by sticky-fingered children and snotty older people.
    I use debit a lot but not for really big things.  For furniture I now know to use credit.

  9. Hmm, perhaps I should think about actually getting a credit card at some point.
    I often go to garden centres these days, mostly because I’m dragged along to look at fish…

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