So, hands up if it was you who found the Weather Switch and twisted it round to Freakin’ Freezing with a Big Knob of Blustery-ness

I played a game at the bus station today.  It was called Fight the Blows and involved trying to remain standing when the gusts of wind attempted to knock me over.  Obviously I won, but it was close.  I then played a game on the bus called I Can Make You Paranoid.  I didn’t win this because the person I was playing it with was a tad better at it than me. 

I suffer from a social anxiety disorder.  I’m not going to bother explaining it [you have search engines, that’s what they’re for] because even the thought of having to do that makes me worry and start to panic / feel silly / want to curl up and hide.  Why is it though, that when you have a particular job [that involves working with people as a team] everybody assumes that you’re the epitome of normal [whatever normal may be] and that you don’t suffer from anything that could be classed as falling into the realm of mental health? 

Today our assistant clinical psychologist talked to the staff about what it means to suffer from anxiety, and all the types of anxiety disorders there are, how they can affect someone, what we should look out for when it comes to seeing signs in the students, all that malarkey.  She wanted us to do interactive things.  Oooh, let’s hyperventilate for one minute to feel what a person with anxiety feels.  Let’s close our eyes and remember the worst thing that ever happened to us and how it made us feel. 

I spent the whole hour really feeling everything she was talking about.  Three times I almost got up and walked out.  But that would have drawn attention to myself, which then would have made everything a hundred times worse. 

Just as an aside, this is something that I’ve learnt to control.  I don’t suffer from it all the time.  But it does hinder my life.  Quite a lot, if I’m brutally honest.  But there you go … we all have our little foibles.  They make us uniquely individual.

It just makes me mad that people who should know better, don’t know better. 

I took the Alternative Britishness Quiz and only got nine out of ten.  Most disappointing. I shall find a row boat and leave these fair isles immediately. 

please God bless the paranoid twitch xxx Elsabeth 


  1. Ack! I know what you mean. Personally I feel like I have to be practically abnormal to teach, y’know? The whole perfection thing, where you’re supposed to be infallible, really does my head in.

  2. whoa.. I dont work due to panic attacks…well its why I stopped working..then I had scout..Im not back to “normal” but I live with it day to day

  3. I’m sorry to hear of your anxiety problems… I cannot know what it is like (although I’ve had a few panic attacks in my life, they were short lived and few…)I can empathize… I took the British quiz and, as suspected, one would never mistake me for a British citizen… 3 out of 10 right…

  4. I got 7/10! Woo!  Pretty good for not being British.
    It was not I who ordered the cold but I am enjoying it.  You should come here.  It freezes at night and gets up to 80 during the day.
    I’ve had panic attacks but I can’t really say I have SAD.  There are times when I’m borderline, though.

  5. Both my parents have SAD and depression, but they live with it. A lot of people in my family suffer from it, but I’m working very hard to be different.

  6. Good Grief!!  That’s the weather we should have over here..what the hell?   It’s like 65 degrees today and you are windsailing on the walkways..hmmm, somethings wrong with this picture..
    I know all about anxiety, I hyperventilate in crowds, so I know a little of what you speak of..Hope that eventually everything gets better….sorry about your Britishness too, I’d gladly trade places with you and expat myself of the whole US of A………..Peace..Tao

  7. How annoying that must have been.  I get anxious too.  I think that the people that don’t get anxious are either incredibly naive and stupid to not realize how scary the world is or they are just plain crazy and not in touch with reality.  We’re the normal ones not them…
    Oooh forgot to take the british quiz… I may or may not return to comment again on the quiz.

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