So, hands up if it was you who found the Weather Switch and twisted it round to Freakin’ Freezing with a Big Knob of Blustery-ness …
I played a game at the bus station today. It was called Fight the Blows and involved trying to remain standing when the gusts of wind attempted to knock me over. Obviously I won, but it was close. I then played a game on the bus called I Can Make You Paranoid. I didn’t win this because the person I was playing it with was a tad better at it than me.
I suffer from a social anxiety disorder. I’m not going to bother explaining it [you have search engines, that’s what they’re for] because even the thought of having to do that makes me worry and start to panic / feel silly / want to curl up and hide. Why is it though, that when you have a particular job [that involves working with people as a team] everybody assumes that you’re the epitome of normal [whatever normal may be] and that you don’t suffer from anything that could be classed as falling into the realm of mental health?
Today our assistant clinical psychologist talked to the staff about what it means to suffer from anxiety, and all the types of anxiety disorders there are, how they can affect someone, what we should look out for when it comes to seeing signs in the students, all that malarkey. She wanted us to do interactive things. Oooh, let’s hyperventilate for one minute to feel what a person with anxiety feels. Let’s close our eyes and remember the worst thing that ever happened to us and how it made us feel.
I spent the whole hour really feeling everything she was talking about. Three times I almost got up and walked out. But that would have drawn attention to myself, which then would have made everything a hundred times worse.
Just as an aside, this is something that I’ve learnt to control. I don’t suffer from it all the time. But it does hinder my life. Quite a lot, if I’m brutally honest. But there you go … we all have our little foibles. They make us uniquely individual.
It just makes me mad that people who should know better, don’t know better.
I took the Alternative Britishness Quiz and only got nine out of ten. Most disappointing. I shall find a row boat and leave these fair isles immediately.
please God bless the paranoid twitch xxx Elsabeth