End of Year Report …

English Language (A-) –
Katiefinger’s use of the words fandangly and spangly has been remarkable, and she could see a vast improvement in her reputation if she starts to use these words more in the simple context of everyday conversation.  Her use of apostrophe’s is also making a sound progression.  She has recently become familiar with particular phrases that perhaps shouldn’t be used in the more formal setting of work.  These have made her feel naive and innocent.  This is a good thing.

English Literature (B+) –
She has enjoyed a great number of books this year.  Witches, evolution, pirates and time travel have all been poured over in minute detail.  She has, at times, strived to be a successful writer, but has failed exceptionally.  Maybe next year!

Maths (B) –
This year Katiefinger spent money as though it was going out of fashion.  She and The Blokey gained money through the selling of shares [thank you Blokey’s (un-named) company, and Tesco] which was well spent on a deposit for a house, and a little furniture to go inside.  She is still in debt with the Student Loans Company [and expects to be for all eternity, or the next eighteen years (at which point it will cease to exist / be written off), whichever comes first] and now has the added grown-up responsibility of a mortgage.  However, she shows a spark of intelligence that one would think generally beyond her capabilities, as she lets Blokey pay for everything.   She has continued to fail in her lottery quests, but must keep up the hard work and soon she will reap the benefits [or win].

Science (F) –
Katiefinger must remember that she needs to phone the boiler man.

Music (C+) –
This is a big place and there is a lot of noise.  Oooh, that’s pretty.  Gosh, I could pick him up and place him in my pocket.
These are all phrases that Katiefinger was heard to say at the concerts she went to this year.  There were only two – Kylie [and Melody Club] in Manchester, and REM [and The Zutons] in Gip – but less is more and she must remember this when she frets at not seeing Robbie next year.

Work Experience (A+) –
Katiefinger has been thoroughly enjoying her work experience, despite finding aspects of it difficult and a little challenging.  The kids love her dearly and rarely spit in her face anymore.

Child Development (D) –
Everybody has been having babies.  Katiefinger enjoyed welcoming Cullen, Zachariah, Daisy, Isabel, Toben, Rhianna and James into the world during 2005. 

Social Studies (B+) –
After attending Doll’s wedding and then having in-depth discussions about it, Katiefinger is to be congratulated on her ability to set-a-date.  Well done!  Keep up the hard work Katie!  In March Katiefinger will be able to gain valuable experience when she attends the wedding of her StepSister.  Katiefinger must also be commended for her bravery back in April when she went to London to meet the Queen Susannah and Ashley. 

Food Technology (F) –
She still can’t cook.  But she did achieve a certificate in Basic Food Hygiene. WooHoo. 

Veterinary Care (A-) –
She is enjoying being a mummy to the most timid, yet frightfully affectionate, of cats.  She loves Tabatha-Cat dearly and worries about her all the time [when she’s not coo-ing at her and smacking her lips together in an effort to do the things that cats like].There are fish in the garden pond, and Katiefinger’s lack of love for the little blighters is, unfortunately, pulling her grades down. 

Leisure & Tourism (D) –
A holiday was out of the question this year because a) they couldn’t afford it, and b) they got a cat.  However, Katiefinger did manage to make it to various places of historical interest where she jumped on graves and spoke to strange old men in antique shops.  She used this time away from Blokey and Tabatha-Cat to bond further with her Mumsy, which was particularly poignant following the death of her nana, Dorothy Mabel, in September [God rest her soul and let her smile upon us]. 

Modern Foreign Languages (C) –
Katiefinger has learnt many new foreign words this year.  Unfortunately she tends to forget them as quickly as she hears them, and then finds it difficult to admit to her teachers [students, in this case] that she can’t remember them.  She must pluck up the courage to admit her lack of memory if she is to succeed and achieve cool chav-ness.

Targets For 2006
Katiefinger needs to decide whether she wants to go to Russia or Iceland for her honeymoon, and really needs to consider the implications of both these places, since they both require a trip in a metal box thousands of feet in the sky.  Humpf.  Also, spend less money.  Or at least spend less money on trivial things.  And ponder the advantages of maybe trying for a baby later in the year.

I don’t actually like New Year.  But I do love vintage postcards.

So this is for the whole lovely lot of you anyways …

please God bless the whole wide world in 2006 xxx Elsabeth



  1. My Aunt hates cooking..at a younger age she felt bad about this and tried cooking.  She has since abandoned the idea of ever cooking and her husband has done it for years.
    A mental box!? I like that phrase! 

  2. I’ve just chuckled all through your report, and thank you for making me chuckle so Have yourself a very happy and successful 2006, and here’s to pulling a couple of those grades up

  3. Heeeeyyyy….I thought I commented on this. *grumbles*
    First, you need to raise your music grade because you helped to make my musical tastes better.
    Second, Ashley and I are WAY better than meeting the Queen.
    Happy New Year!

  4. Well Happy New Year to you!
    Why don’t they show more pirate-oriented books?
    I read your comment about social anxiety. You’re well. From what i read at least, you let people in. So you’re doing what people like my ex can’t.
    My ex. doesn’t. He calls it a “he likes being shy and isn’t changing for anyone,” speech. But someone who loves him, I’ve done all I can. The rest of that 50% is up to him because he has to help himself first. And it hurts for the people who have to try to cope with the person they care for and try to understand why they’re so afraid of things that are unreasonable–like talking into answer phones or calling strangers up for services or ordering food.
    Because regardless of his fears, to me in translates as I wasn’t good enough for him to let go of fears and try.
    anyway–have a good year!

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