An enlightening weekend has just been had.
The NotSoUgly StepSister was married for the second time in the Mormon Church. I’m not sure it was an actual Mormon wedding, but it was in the Mormon Church. We hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting Her Man beforehand but he was lovely, like a teddy-bear. And certainly not a Mormon. I was rather amused at the [I’m not frightened, really I’m not, and of course I’ll accept you, please don’t hurt me] expression on the Bishop’s face as a bunch of Biker People paraded into the Church, complete with tattoo’d heads and lots of cleavage [and knees, bizarrely].
At the wedding breakfast I had the longest conversation that I’ve had with my half-brother since he was, well, about eight. He’ll be twenty-five in August. He told me all the gossip. I learnt that The NSUStepSister was ex-communicated from the Church for having an affair [which led to the birth of her little boy, Hyper Kid] and then was re-baptised only to get pregnant out of wedlock [with Daddy’s Girl, born in November] so has been disfellowshipped [lost certain rights within the Church]. He expressed a certain dissatisfaction with the Church, and yet is obviously so very religious. Except he’s not married yet. And he did the naughty thing of going to university instead of on a Mission. And he even had a girlfriend who wasn’t a member of the Church! Yeesh.
When The Father and his new family became Mormon’s I found out all this stuff about how cruel the Church were, about how racism and sexism existed in an extreme way, about how whole families were ex-communicated for what non-Mormon folk would consider minor, and certainly forgiveable offences. They were a cult, and they were therefore evil.
And gradually I changed my mind. The Father became an inactive Mormon, yet he was still accepted. They all stood by the NSUStepSister when she did naughty things, yet they were all still accepted. Even the husband of Alice in Wonderland, my other stepsister, who was brought up in a strict Mormon family as one of seven children and must have been taught that certain things are very bad, was accepting of everything. Or appeared to be. And so I thought that maybe the Mormon Church weren’t so bad. Maybe they were quite nice.
Fair enough, they don’t drink tea / coffee or alcohol, they would never dream of smoking, and they’re not encouraged to spend time alone with the opposite sex. They even have special underwear. These are surely all good things to some extent.
But the conversation I had with my half-brother has changed my mind again, and it’s made me feel pity and a certain amount of contempt.
I don’t think they understand ordinary women in the Mormon Church. And they’re certainly not feminist.
And I certainly shan’t become a member anytime soon. This is more because of the alcohol situation than the feminism issue, because I’m certainly not a feminist. And also partly because I won’t mind if my future daughter chooses to kiss her future husband before they get married. With tongues.
Mormon children seem to be weighed down with pent-up aggression. My nine year old step-niece made me giggle as she spent half an hour chasing and punching balloons on the dancefloor with an angry expression on her face …
Awww, I love my Mormon family.
please God bless the rather nice chap with the tattoo’d head xxx Elsabeth
[asking for help]