Testing, testing …

Am I:

a) a d!ckhead
b) a tw@t
c) a pr!ck
d) a b-i-t-c-h [each letter must be individual, not to be mistaken with the word b!tch]
e) a beautiful woman who’s really nice

[apparently I’m all of them]

Is my name:

Elizabeferianism or Plonker? 

[we decided that Elizabeferianism sounded better, although I shall be a Plonker later when I drink my wine]

Is it wrong for me to expect a little support when a student is doing something s/he shouldn’t be and s/he’s not actually listening to me?

[of course it is]

In two weeks time a fellow babysitter Teaching Assistant is leaving and isn’t being replaced.  Am I within my rights to stamp my feet and refuse to teach GCSE Maths when my timetable changes?

[within my rights, yes – allowed to do so, no]

Therefore, is it ok for me to comment to Year 11 students that I’m more hopeless at Maths than they are [wtf is median, mode and whatnot anyway?]?

[who cares, I do it regularly and they all know – this way they’ll all complain when I end up with them on my timetable]

When somebody compliments my classroom displays [which are rather amazingly fandangly for someone with such an un-artistic soul] should I jump for joy?

[absolutely, and I did]

Why is it that some students make me laugh but others can do the very same thing and it just annoys me?

[because, like any other educator, I have favourites and have genuine personality clashes with some]

Why did the snow disappear after a measly five hours?

[because this is England and the weather must mock us]

My right boob hurts, as though a shard of glass has been thrust into it … really painful.  Is this because:

a) I have a terminal illness
b) I’m pre-menstrual
c) I was visited by aliens one night and they did things to me

[more than anything I hope it’s not the first – I suspect it may be my bra]

Today is The Eldest Brothers birthday. Is he:

a) ancient
b) really old
c) collecting his bus pass

[awwww, he’s not really that old, but he does only have two years to go before he hits forty]

So, that was my week.  Exciting, no?

please God bless next week and make it as jovial as the one just gone xxx Elsabeth

17 comments

  1. What an inventive entry!  RYC: I do not know when my sister, cousins and I started calling each other whores, but we do so all the time now…of course we aren’t really in the biblical sense of the word but it’s our term of endearment anyhow! 
    Also, to explain #48 -liking someone…I could be very obtuse and say that I like almost everyone…but I won’t and I will say that if I explain my “crush” I will feel as though I am in high school again…though sometimes, as with our “name calling” (see above), I feel as if I never left!!

  2. Okay, so Wednesday I shall remain silent until you have seen it. I think only Sawyer and Kate know they are on a different island.  Jack doesn’t..but atleast he is eating more than fish biscuits.  I have to record the show since some naughty boy has hockey practice that night!

  3. ryc: Job change/wedding/moving flat are all hideously stressful, I’m not denying that.  However, I know far too many Queen’s Guides who successfully integrated one or more into their plans (including one who organised her wedding in Australia).  This girl changed job and bought a flat right at the end of the Award period: and we so would have given an extension if she’d told us this was what she was doing!

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