a) a d!ckhead
b) a tw@t
c) a pr!ck
d) a b-i-t-c-h [each letter must be individual, not to be mistaken with the word b!tch]
e) a beautiful woman who’s really nice
[apparently I’m all of them]
Is my name:
Elizabeferianism or Plonker?
[we decided that Elizabeferianism sounded better, although I shall be a Plonker later when I drink my wine]
Is it wrong for me to expect a little support when a student is doing something s/he shouldn’t be and s/he’s not actually listening to me?
[of course it is]
In two weeks time a fellow
babysitter Teaching Assistant is leaving and isn’t being replaced. Am I within my rights to stamp my feet and refuse to teach GCSE Maths when my timetable changes?
[within my rights, yes – allowed to do so, no]
Therefore, is it ok for me to comment to Year 11 students that I’m more hopeless at Maths than they are [wtf is median, mode and whatnot anyway?]?
[who cares, I do it regularly and they all know – this way they’ll all complain when I end up with them on my timetable]
When somebody compliments my classroom displays [which are rather amazingly fandangly for someone with such an un-artistic soul] should I jump for joy?
[absolutely, and I did]
Why is it that some students make me laugh but others can do the very same thing and it just annoys me?
[because, like any other educator, I have favourites and have genuine personality clashes with some]
Why did the snow disappear after a measly five hours?
[because this is England and the weather must mock us]
My right boob hurts, as though a shard of glass has been thrust into it … really painful. Is this because:
a) I have a terminal illness
b) I’m pre-menstrual
c) I was visited by aliens one night and they did things to me
[more than anything I hope it’s not the first – I suspect it may be my bra]
Today is The Eldest Brothers birthday. Is he:
b) really old
c) collecting his bus pass
[awwww, he’s not really that old, but he does only have two years to go before he hits forty]
So, that was my week. Exciting, no?
please God bless next week and make it as jovial as the one just gone xxx Elsabeth