Oh, I get it.
*blank look from the blokey*
Shaun! Shaun the Sheep! 
*katiefinger chuckles to herself*
It’s because sheep are sheared isn’t it, so when they’re sheared they’re shorn, so it’s Shaun the Sheep!
*the blokey shifts uncomfortably in his seat whilst looking at me oddly*
You’ve only just got it?, he asks.
Yeh! *laughs* I’m clever, aren’t I Tabatha-Cat?

And to think, if The Blokey hadn’t been ill and watching the tellybox when I came home from work I would still be none the wiser as to why the sheep from Wallace and Gromit is called Shaun. 

Oh, bless my stripey cotton socks.

And bless Tesco too.  We may never buy our petrol from you ever again, but at least you’ve admitted responsibility and are coughing up and repaying us the two hundred and seventy quid we lost because of your silly petrol fiasco.  It’s not like you can’t afford it … You practically rule the world in the supermarket stakes as it is [although Wal-Mart may still have the edge … sorry about that].

Today is Tuesday.  And there are ten

things you’d like to learn how to do.

1. Drive.  I would love to learn to drive [again].  But there’s a niggling niggle inside me which puts its foot down and hisses vehemently in my belly, creating that queasy panicky feeling, that I Must Not Do It.   The advantages probably far outweigh the disadvantages when it boils down to it, but I hated learning to drive.  Or maybe I hated my driving instructor.  Or did I just hate BSM?  But whatever it was I hated it was an intense enough feeling to panic me.  I’m just not cut out for driving – take away the lorries, the junctions, the roundabouts and the angry people, and find a way to stop me constantly switching-off/daydreaming, and I’m sure I’d make a damn fine driver, but until then …

2. Big Myself Up.  I don’t much like those who are arrogant, with their enormous heads practically fit to bursting, and their disdain of other folk.  But sometimes I would like to be like them, every so often.  I find it awkward when people compliment me in any aspect, and I find myself feeling like a tosser when I choose to admit that actually I am good at some things. 

3. Cook.  If you knew me in a less-virtual setting that would be self-explanatory. 

4. Play The Harp.  I’ve been fascinated by it since I was a nipper, in a flippant and vague way.  Failing the harp, it might be quite cool to learn to play the piano or the violin.  

5.  Ice Skate.  I thought I could, but I can’t.  I’m such a coward and I hate to fall over, especially when there are blades about.

6. Gain Confidence.  This is really connected to number 2, but has a deeper aspect because it relates to being able to write and having the confidence to reveal myself through my words of fiction.  And I don’t think I’ll ever learn to have the confidence I need for that.  Especially as half the population of the world want the same thing and why compete with that many people …

7. Remember My Dreams.  I ought to sleep with a pen and paper next to my pillow because I love my dreams and I’d like to share them.  They’re vivid and fun and naughty and realistic.  And yet they’re so forgetful …

8. Pretend The Whole Wide World Doesn’t Conspire Against Me.  Because it does, and we all know this, but to pretend it doesn’t would make my life easier.  

9. Hypnotise People.  Wouldn’t that just be fandangly?

10. The Ironing.  Because I can’t, so I don’t.  I fold and/or tumble dry.  And yet I never go to work/play with creases in my clothing.  So actually, scrap that, there’s no real point in learning to iron. 

10. [the one with a point] Control My feelings Of Anxiety And My General Moodiness/Depressive Tendencies.  Sometimes curling up in a ball seems the best option, but it would be superb if I could find a better way of dealing with it.  I think I do deal with it to an extent, but to deal with it in a way that doesn’t upset The Blokey would be nice. 

The End.

please God bless my cat who does sneeze an awful lot at the moment xxx Elsabeth


  1. Why compete with that many people ? Because. Just cos the other people are competing, doesn’t mean they’re any better – or that you deserve it any less. (Oh, and if it makes you feel any better – it took me about 8 years to get the ‘only smarties have the answer’ joke)
    L xx

  2. Glad to hear that you are getting the money for you car repairs back. I have a friends who’s mom still doesn’t drive and she is 55 so there is hhope yet ducky. I hope you are well.

  3. I regret to inform you that the world is actually conspiring against me.  It is therefore theoretically impossible for it to be against you as well.  I can maybe give you Europe.  Europe is conspiring against you.  But you can pretend that it isn’t.
    The Harp!  We (Scout and I) just stopped and watched a harp player (a harpist?) harp away.  It was lovely.

  4. It makes a lot less sense when you pronounce the word Shaun with a hickish Southern accent.
    No no no…you’re all wrong.  The world is conspiring against ME. I have proof.

  5. Boy are we soooooo very very very very much alike. I can’t cook (though I am desperately trying to learn and have a couple things I can scrape together now). And what you said about ice skating could have been written by me. I tried to take my little sisters ice skating a month ago. And clung to the wall, wabbled forward, lunged for the wall…. It was a very very long couple of hours. Most of which I lived in terror of falling. Though instead of a harp my instrument (other than guitar) would be violin… They are just of full of feeling and sorrow and so pretty (the music they make I mean).

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