Hasta la vista, baby.

He left me.

We’re not compatible, he said.  I can’t stand your taste in music, he said.  Those games you play? They’re shite, he said. 

You’re always trying to change me, he mumbled before switching off and giving me that blank look, which did nothing but make me stamp my foot in frustration.  I wish that sometimes you’d just leave me be, give me space, he pleaded.

We all knew that it wasn’t going to work out.  It began with all the oooh’s and aaah’s of any great love affair … I was unable to keep my hands off him, exploring every nook and cranny of his existence, laughing with delight at all the new gadgets he introduced into my life.  But the laughs of pleasure became sighs of annoyance as all his little trivial quirks became ginormous friction inducing headaches. 

By the end not an hour went by where I wasn’t telling him to feck off

Maybe one day he’ll come back to me.  Perhaps one day he’ll thrill me again with his new-fangled gadgets.  When he does come back to me he might actually start to accept that my music is worthy of his time, and that the games I play [although mind-numbingly boring to others] are important to me, and that some of the places I visit shouldn’t be treated with such disdain [fancy dragging me away from them with no apologies]. 

The “Wow” ends now.

[it usually works well in my favour to have a blokey who does computer things for a living because he knows everything and is like a god when it comes to technology.  but vista had him stumped.  every avenue he turned, every little thing he changed, every swear word he uttered, every kick he aimed … none of it worked.  so now i’m stuck with xp again.  grrr … ]

please God bless my damn computer xxx Elsabeth


  1. Yes. Vista is far from perfect.
    I wanted to get a highly stylized Alienware laptop with the latest window office software, but am waiting for Vista to settle down because my fellow Mac fanatics warned me that Vista does dirty things to my sweet, sweet, I Tunes. 
    I think validating a reasonable scientific explanation for why I fail very badly at dating is my way of self-consolation. otherwise, it tells me that the problem is me, which is harsher to face. Dopamines and serotonin and adrenaline-charged abandonment issues are preferred over the realization that someone I loved didn’t even want to care for me back and prefers something easy and simple and younger and skinnier and childlike over something that has taught him so much about growing up. I hate that I taught a major part of his evolved persona from the MacDonald eating, taco munching college personna he had before me. A majority of the culture and knowledge and “man of the world” facets of him he found because I shared my life with him. it’s kind of like before me, he never ate sushi or ate Thai and after me, Thai became his favorite food and he had the nerve to tell me to “get out and see the world and stop being so ignorant” when he was the one who lives solely on Taco bell everyday and watched nothing but Crocodile Hunter and other male-oriented things like Jackass.
    And instead, she gets the best part of him, after my fights where he finally learns what to do and what not to do in a relationship, he learned to share, he learned to miss someone else besides his own selfishness–and to bring flowers and make a little effort at taking risks. It’s a strange state. Why go through that all over when some other girl will get a guy fully taught to function in a grown-up relationship when I was the “starter girlfriend” that they eventually abandon?
    what’s the point if they leave because they’re afraid to love you not because there’s anything wrong with you, but because they’re afraid of being responsible for someone else’s love and happiness–that is what he told me as his fear of love–but they settle for a deluded notion of love that doesn’t threaten them–the sort that is more like teenagers dating than someone deep and meaningful that adults should be having. And the selfishness after they take so much of you with them, which is a large reason the girl who comes after loves them and thinks them the perfect man without realizing a major facet of him is what he discovered about the world outside of Taco Bell via his ex.

  2. Stupid Vista! 
    My computer is rejecting my new camera.  It kept shutting down and refusing to behave.  I’ve had to detach it now…
    Truth be told, I’m not sure why I bought one in the first place.  I’ve no urge to make a video blog.  (Who wants to see a middle-aged dumpy woman talking?)
    But now I’ve turned this into something about me… Sorry about that…
    Have a good day…

  3. *giggles* you scared me for a minute there. ryc: yeah but there are things I can’t write cuz I can’t risk him seeing them… things I haven’t told him and may never ever in a million years tell him… whether things do or do not work.

  4. You could always take a leaf out of our lovely Government’s book and use NT4….Vista is something that I will use when I have enough patience to deal with it.In the meantime, I might move to Linux…

  5. You have to be the wittiest person I’ve ever known.  That was genius…I, too, was dumbfounded until I read the comments.  So I guess now I know to hold off on getting Vista?  I’d been thinking about it.  I’ve never liked XP…and have always wanted to go crawling back to Windows ’98 because I never had half the problems I’ve had with XP…however, I don’t think it was because 98 was better.  Maybe it was just because the hackers became more advanced?
    RYC:  I’ve gotten some great comments tonight on that post.  I can’t believe that these women treat each other the way they do.  Some support network!  With support like that, I think I’d rather weather a deployment alone.  I’m secretly thanking God that I don’t have to go through another one, right now, with the babies so young.  I apologize (just a thought – does it bug you that Americans use ‘z’s where those in the UK would use ‘s’ – I’ve always wondered that….and wondered why in the hell the U.S. deviated from that…and the deal with the metric system…but anyway…) for going on so much about military wives lately.  This TV project has got me thinking a lot about the subculture we live in.  It’s more than a little insane.  Especially when you start examining the relationships and etiquette involved in spouse communities.  Why did I subject myself to this again?  ;)

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