The Smoking Room.

Last night there was an unscheduled news report in between Casualty and Jekyll on BBC1.  So, there’s the newsreader passing over to an interview with the Prime Minister, who wants to talk about the criticalness of the terrorist threat malarkey that’s going on at the moment, and there I am going, Who the f.uck is that geezer who looks out of place, wearing a suit that is at least one size too big? Where’s Tony Blair? Why won’t the wrong-suit geezer shut up and let Tony into view?  It took about a second for that to go through my mind before I realised that the geezer is our Prime Minister.


And I’m not sure if that Yikes! is due to the new PM or the fact that I’m more willing to tell you that anecdote than I am to tell you that I’m really scared of having to live in a criticalness terrorist threat thingy nation.  Which I’m not.  I’m very apathetic on that score.  Perhaps this makes me a bad person? Perhaps it just means that terrorists are going about things the wrong way now.  Who knows?

[As an aside, I accidentally (on purpose) nudged somebody’s bum with my shopping trolley in Tesco yesterday.  She sarcastically muttered something like, excuuuuse me.  So I sarcastically muttered something back.  It was along the lines of shut up and oooh, how clever to mutter things under your breath.  I wish I could do that too.  Then it dawned on me that I am her.  I am the person that will mutter when someone annoys me or gets in my way. 

That’s surely worthy of another Yikes!]

As of today I’m not allowed to smoke in any enclosed public places in England.  This is helped by the fact that I’m a non-smoker.  I have been a non-smoker for 167 weeks.  I have not smoked [approximately] 23,377 cigarettes and I have saved over £5,000.   

Giving up the cigarettes was the easiest thing I ever did.  One week both myself and The Blokey were verging on twenty a day each and the following week we were down to zero.  But I’m not one of those evil ex-smokers.  I don’t stand in bus shelters waving my hands in front of my face whilst muttering complaints.  I don’t even really mind being around people who are smoking: Chav Boy smokes in his car whilst driving me to and from work and the kids at work are allowed to smoke in the ‘playground’, and to ensure that they don’t fight and cause havoc we have to stand out there with them. 

I actually quite like the smell of cigarettes.  Sometimes I even feel tempted to indulge in a ‘quick fix’.  But I never have and I never will.  I never want to find myself in the position where I can’t leave home without a lighter and enough pennies to buy a packet, always checking that I have mints on me and fretting about the bus being early because I won’t get to finish my fag.  I never want to find myself in that situation where I decide that I could do with lighting up only to look down and see that I already have a half-smoked cigarette in my hand. 

Smoking was a way of life for me for over ten years.  It was as natural to me as brushing my teeth or drinking tea.  It was part of who I was, part of my existence.  And I do genuinely have a bit of sympathy with those folk who grumble about having their civil liberties taken away, who moan that they won’t be able to enjoy that Sunday lunchtime pub trip without an obligatory fag hanging out of the corner of their mouth. 

But I also laugh at their misery.

Because that’s just the kind of gal I am.

please God bless the folk who smoke xxx Elsabeth

PS: Happy Birthday [for today, not officially] Tabatha-Cat! and Happy Birthday [for tomorrow] Baby Brother!


  1. birfday fanks.all those poor smokers. they’re never sure whether they’re losing their ‘freedom’ to smoke, like it’s some kind of hobby, or whether they’re losing a necessary but involuntary treatment to an addiction, like they’re disabled and require sympathy.

  2. I am not a smoker. My father died from lung cancer but I still think that smokers get treated like lepers in every society now in the west and I think the rage is often violent and I can’t understand why all the time…

  3. Hooray for you being a non smoker, I am an OPC smoker – “Other Peoples Cigarettes”.  Fortunately I don’t hang out with that element enough to get hooked – oh I am feeling all superior about now……
    RYC:  As for your comment my dear, you know I want to fly to the UK, just to meet you and maybe give the Queen a bit of a goose too!

  4. You may mutter, I would speak my mind. Bloody shoppers….I’ve never been a smoker, so it would be unfair of me to comment, for I am one of those irritating so-and-so’s whose smoking halo is shiny, polished and blinding people. I’m ecstatic (well, almost) about the ban, and so are my clothes. Yippee

  5. Oh my, pray for me!  I was an OPC smoker until I became a My Cigarettes smoker.  This has been on and off for oh. . .16 years.  UGH!!  I won’t even say I plan to quit.  Just that I want to but not enough to do it. . .whine, whine, inactive whine.  :)  M

  6. Oh Please take the Warren Ellis Quote. He’d appreciate any press- his novel is coming out late July. And he’s an excellent comic book writer.So what’s your take on this new Prime Minister? What do you know about his politics?”Sicko” pretty much said that, you don’t incur bills from health visits. It said you have access to go to the doctor, even if you don’t have a job or insurance. It said that your medicine cost (if I remember correctly) about 6 lbs – and it looked like it didn’t matter how large the prescription was. It said you universal health care was created as a response to a tragic day in WWII. It showed that the hospital reimburses you for cab fair after you visit the hospital. And it showed that your doctors, like our doctors, were wealthy. And it says your doctors get incentives for keeping their patients.

  7. Being uncaring about the terrorism situation is the best answer. It makes it impossible for the terrorists to accomplish their goal of making you afraid.

  8. I think it’s kind of funny (because I don’t smoke, I guess) in the States in Atlantic City there are “designated slot machines” and whatever in the casinos. They give you a map to show you where you can and cannot smoke. 95-97% of the entire place is smoke free as are the rooms unless you request a smoking room, which I hate because my mother does that all the time. It’s a shame that she won’t quit. My grandmother quit cold turkey before coming to the States, so I don’t see why she can’t even quit without help, yaknow? It’s good that you haven’t given up on your decision to quit. :)
    Oh and your new PM is a bit funny looking, to be honest. I did like Tony better and was a bit sad to see him go.

  9. In the states, there is no right to health care. We have to pay for it, and it’s expensive. Wherever you work, they take some money out of your check to go toward your medical insurance. And then when you go to the doctor, whatever your insurance doesn’t cover, you have to pay. So medical coverage is pretty much our incentive to work- it’s the form of indentured servitude that keeps us part of the system. I’d recommend the movie, if not just to realize how blessed you are, it’ll be good for a laugh at those damn wacky states.

  10. Just stumbled blindly across your blog – and am already hooked. I LOVE the scary heading – very weird, like something out of the psychological thrillers I am addicted to. Give me a moment to read back through a few more postings and, hopefully, I’ll be back to read more of your slanted view of the world! Loved the anniversaries posting too – so happy birthday and happy blogging anniversary. The reason I chose to comment on this one is because I did a posting about smoking on my own blog, (June 30): just in case you’re interested.

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