What I would have said if I was eight.

By Elizabeth the Bright Pink Lobster, aged not young enough and three hundred and sixty-four days.

On Saturday me and my mummy and my baby brother went to a big race track.  It was four hours away and the sun burnt me through the car window.  We watched some cars whizzing along.

zzzooom zzzooom zzzooom.

Then my mummy spoke to a stranger called Hans Stuck and she got me his autograph.  He was nearly as old as her!  Once upon a time he was a famous driver but now he is just a little old man signing things.  Then we saw the geraniums from my Uncle John’s nursery on the podium.  They were pretty.


We must have walked a trillion zillion miles!  Then we went to the car and it was a long way away and we had to walk through a campsite and we thought the man having a wee-wee had stolen my mummy but he hadn’t, she was just plodding along slowly. 

Then we went home.  And it was good.

On Sunday my mummy made me get up before the birds had started singing.  The big race track wasn’t four hours away, it was less than two.  The people wearing the bright tops were a lot more organised but I don’t think they liked being up so early either because they didn’t smile.  We got there in time for breakfast at eight o’clock and we drank coffee out of flasks, just like old people do. 

Then we went and found our seats.  My mummy and my baby brother had to leave us because they had seats in a different place [Stowe].  Me and my blokey sat in the Hanger Straight and we watched the Porche race and it was good.

zzzooom zzzooom zzzooom.

Then the F1 drivers came past and we waved at them and they waved back.  They weren’t driving, they were just standing on a lorry.


Then the Red Arrows flew overheard and they went upside down and blew red white and blue smoke from their bottoms and it was good.  They made a heart.  It was pretty.


Then we watched the race.


zzzooom zzzooom zzzooom.

It was fun.  Lewis Hamilton only came third.  I took my Lewis Hamilton cap off to show my disgust.  I saw a picture of Trulli and I like him because I am a shallow girl and so now I don’t like Lewis anymore.  Then we started the long walk back to the car.  I got angry with my blokey because I was hungry and tired and sunburnt.  But then we made up because he loves me and I love him. 

My mummy bought me a keyring of a bear wearing the Toyota colours.  I love my keyring. 

Then we went home.  And it was good.

[this post is brought to you in memory of my FiL for whom we bought the tickets in the spring, may he rest in peace … I would also like to take this opportunity to apologise to my primary school teachers for using the words then and and far too much and for my lack of punctuation …  also, my sunburn f.ucking hurts … oh, and there are oodles of presents scattered around the house all screaming, Open Me! Open Me! …]

please God bless my sunburn and the blokey’s dad xxx Elsabeth


  1. Happy Birthday!Where I am it’s not quite the 10th but it’s a couple hours after for you. I hope your day is sparkly, fandangly, and wonderful.

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