[or Bloody F.ucking Massacre]
[the men in the virtual room may like to stick their hands over their ears and sing tra-la-la-la-la to themselves]
I started my periods when I was eleven years old. I didn’t really know what to do, despite being spoken to extensively about it by both my own mother and the mother of my best friend in the months leading up to the Big Event. So I shoved my soiled knickers into the laundry basket and waited for Mumsy to find them.
As I recall it was a Saturday morning in winter and I certainly didn’t feel like a woman.
I have suffered from heavy periods since the beginning. They were always fairly irregular too. The pill sorted that out. For over ten years [on and off] I was as regular as clockwork; and they were less heavy too, which was a nice bonus. I’m not on the pill anymore. It’s been well over two years since I stopped taking it. And although my periods are still quite regular they are terribly heavy and they get worse each month.
I came home from work this afternoon and sat on the loo to have a wee. And I stayed on the loo for about fifteen minutes, mostly in tears, because I may as well be dying, the amount of blood that seems to rush out. And I do mean rush. Like a waterfall. But with blood, not water. And clotty bits. Big clotty bits that manage to escape past tampons. It’s not pleasant. It’s terribly icky and it makes me feel sick. I have some pills from the doctor but I’m wary of taking them because I don’t really know what they do [I only have to take them when my red flag is flying] and I’m not entirely sure of the side-effects [we would like to start trying for a baby soon].
Ack. Maybe I should just take more Vitamin B6 and stop whinging.
[the men in the virtual room can remove their hands from their ears, but may keep singing tra-la-la-la-la to themselves if they wish]
My long summer holidays are now in progress. Huzzah! No more work for nearly seven weeks!
Now, what am I going to do with myself [once the flood subsides, obviously]?
please God bless my bloody knickers xxx Elsabeth