Of all the people in all the world I think that I must be the wimpiest. I think this because people tell me I’m a wimp. Therefore I believe that I’m a wimp. And because I like to have the monopoly on everything I must be the wimpiest of all wimpy folk.
I applied for the other position. I was offered an interview. I withdrew at that point.
Ms. Hippy called me a wimp. She said that I worry too much. She hurt me, inside, although I laughed and twisted it to my advantage. But she’s right, to an extent. However, I withdrew from the process because I realised that I really don’t want to leave, not because I was worried about having an interview. Apart from the fact that I’m getting my own office from September, plus a stonkingly huge leather chair and a brand new computer, there’s also the fact that I have an abundance of friends at work and I do care about the spotty oiks that I have to run after. The reasons I had for wanting to leave were not the right reasons and in retrospect I can see that they were merely excuses for running away from inevitable change.
If I don’t want change forced upon me why am I so prepared to actually force it on myself?
So, I’m turning the wimp issue around.
The wimp has turned.
Running away is not an option for me anymore. This is the longest I’ve ever worked anywhere and I’m not going to throw away the friendships I have, and the relationships I’ve developed with the kids, just because I don’t want the change that’s being thrust upon me. Change occurs so regularly – albeit not on such a big scale – at work that it would be silly not to sit this through and ride the storm. Calm will reign again, soon. And at this moment in time the wimp feels strong. And happy. Going through the process of applying for other jobs has made me more positive about the role I have now, and that can only be a good thing.
Gosh, I almost sound like I’m growing up.
Besides, I would miss the incidents involving knives and policemen and handcuffs. And the bitchy gossip. And the pulling down of walls. And the screaming. And the teaching of Maths [I learnt what an improper fraction is today – go me!] …
Yesterday I danced to Happy Hardcore in a 1-1 ICT lesson with Gobby Cow, making her laugh. And I knew that I had made the right decision to stay put.
please God bless the wimp xxx Elsabeth